Rivalries are Fun

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not easy being a Hoo. There’s the exhaustion of being forced to maintain that
attitude of condescending arrogance towards those wretches not fortunate enough
to have trod the Grounds during their undergraduate days. Then there’s the
taxing physical demands caused by attempting to pat one’s self on the back for
one’s academic accomplishments while simultaneously holding a glass of wine and
a wedge of brie. It must be tough learning that toughest of admissions
requirements, the reciting of Mr. Jefferson’s lineage from Thomas on down to the
present day, then convincing the admissions officer how the candidate might be
related to the great Founder. There’s the indignity that comes from spending an
entire football off-season braying incessantly to anyone within earshot how
great were going to be the triumphs as algroh’s Tribe vanquished any and all
comers, then watching in abject horror as the season thudded with the sound of a
sack of potatoes being dropped onto blue turf as the Great algroh couldn’t beat
anybody any good. And now this.

The Hoo faithful were positively giddy with anticipation
of their basketball future. Visions of their program opening that brand spanking
new arena with a top-notch coach patrolling the bench were dancing in their
head. Perhaps another pro league could be plundered and Mike Montgomery would
return to the college game. Mike’s Maniacs certainly has a nice ring to it.
Maybe, under the ‘If you can’t beat them, join them’ category, the Anointed One
Tommy Amaker could be convinced to leave that Michigan probation behind and come
match wits with his former mentor the evil Coach K, much like Luke Skywalker
battling Darth Vader. Or, just maybe, Bobby Knight would come and break Dean’s
record in Dean’s conference. The possibilities were as intoxicating as a
Saturday night at the Corner. There was only one seemingly insignificant
obstacle to basketball nirvana: that useless, no-coaching bum Pete Gillen had to
be fired, which, of course, would happen seconds after the Hoos had been blasted
by thirty in the opening round of the ACC Tournament.